Life Does Not Owe You

This article is the last one where we will talk about change per se.

And even though I said "not dramatic", some of my arguments might be.

You will need to be open-minded about this one, especially because what I am about to say has been repeated many times but, in my opinion, rarely really explained.

Reality will not match the picture in your head.

And this deserves more explanation.

I am not only talking about your dream life, the career you imagined, the person you thought you would marry or where you expected to be ten years from now.

I am also talking about what you are picturing for next week, tomorrow or even the next hour.

You cannot predict reality, only possibilities, and the cost of trying to control reality or its outcomes can eventually become much higher than simply living your life and pursuing what you actually want.

There is no perfect moment and there are no perfect circumstances.

At some point, there are only two choices: you do it or you don't.

You cannot control reality into becoming the perfect environment for your decision. You can only decide what you are going to do within the reality you have.

In short: reconsider the picture.

And not just once.

Do it whenever you are facing an important decision or find yourself hesitating about something that matters.

Is this really what I want?

Does this process align with who I am?

Or do I simply want the idea of it?

Does the picture of the life I want still align with the person I am today?

Because sometimes we spend so much time pursuing the picture that we forget to check whether we still want the life inside it.

And now comes the second lesson, probably the hardest one so far.

Sometimes Reality Tells You Something Has to End

As painful as that sounds, it does not always have to be.

Sometimes what needs to end is simply a past version of yourself that you need to let go of to become the person you actually want to see in the mirror.

And sometimes it is even simpler than that.

Sometimes you need to throw away the mirror that doesn't do you justice.

You might have to leave a toxic situation, or you might have to let your guard down enough to allow the right people in.

You might have to abandon an old ambition, or perhaps you need to keep the ambition and completely change the route.

You might discover that something you fought very hard for is no longer something you want.

And you are allowed to acknowledge that.

As far as I am concerned, this entire season is about discernment and choices.

Not knowing exactly what will happen.

Not controlling every outcome.

But learning to look at what is actually in front of you and deciding what deserves to continue with you.

That is where letting go without giving up comes in.

Letting go is not automatically failure.

Changing direction is not automatically quitting.

And persistence is not automatically courage.

Sometimes you abandon the goal.

Sometimes you abandon the timeline.

Sometimes you abandon the method.

Sometimes you abandon the picture.

And sometimes you keep exactly what you wanted but finally accept that the road toward it will look nothing like the one you imagined.

The important part is learning the difference between abandoning a goal and changing the way you pursue a life.

And yes, I am going to be corny here.

There is no right way.

Only yours.

But it needs to be a way you can actually live.